Powdered Alcohol, Not Coming to a PA State Liquor Store Near You

So, I had a childlike excitement when I heard about powdered alcohol. I’m not saying it was a healthy excitement, it’s just been a while since I had that teenage…”Ooooh, something new!” glee about a controlled substance I might be willing to try.

Things that ran through my mind immediately upon hearing about powdered alcohol (which sounds a lot like an adult version of Pixie Sticks): Powdered alcohol on pancakes, kind of like powdered sugar. In my mind it is sweet, but in reality it’s probably pretty foul. Powdered alcohol in my latte. Powdered alcohol in pill form, which would be much more palatable than a shot of vodka. Powdered alcohol in chocolates-Bon bons with a bang. And, really, the list goes on and on.

(And yes, arguments about how scary it is, I GET IT, and I don’t actually drink anymore beyond the exceptionally rare glass of wine or Guinness. Also, the ability to cause yourself alcohol poisoning seems exceptionally endless with a powder.)

My home state didn’t approve it for sale, though, so now chances are I won’t be getting any to try. Oh how fleeting my mental gastronomic experiments were. But, my next thought was what compelled someone to take alcohol, a substance that has been befuddling and socially lubricating since cave men let wheat ferment in water by accident, and turn it into a powder? I would have never thought to do something like that. Did they want something to entertain on the fly? A modern James Bond might have a stash up his sleeve to ply his partner with liquor, though that leads to kind of a creepy vibe too. Was it so it could be taken on airplanes on the sly? Who wants to pay for drinks? I guess I’ll never know.

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