What is The Amphigorium, you ask? Here you will find that which is nonsensical, that which makes little sense, the wild, the ridiculous, and, most importantly, reviews of the crazy erotic shorts you scroll by on Amazon when you’re looking for novels.
For my initial review in The Amphigorium, I have chosen Found by the Unicorn by Emmanuelle Lovecraft. It’s a hoot from start to finish. The writing, unlike most of the short stories that get posted at whiplash speed in the “erotica” genre, isn’t too bad. I cringed and read and laughed and was pulled along by the weird little story to make about 20 minutes of my day brighter. The dialogue…THE DIALOGUE…in this little piece had me snorting out loud in a very undignified manner.
First, let’s look at the blurb.
Christopher Daniels is fresh out of an abusive relationship. To help clear his head of the trauma of it all he decides to go up to the Cascade Mountains for a nice weekend hike.
Little does he know that he’ll meet the most elusive of creatures as he wanders the wilds of Washington State.
Will he accept the offer given? Or will he run from his fate? One click now and find out!
Check out the sample here.
This short is listed as 19 pages on Amazon, but with the odd formatting I’m unsure if that’s actually the case. (You’ll see what I mean if you pick it up.)
The author manages to give us (somewhat dubiously possible) erotica that involves both human forms and animal forms, and several tropes as well. The way the story is written is in limited third person, not necessarily my favorite, but makes for some interesting scenes.
The Tropes I counted: Abusive boyfriend/rescue, alpha shifter, insta-lust/love, rescue me, mates for life.
I don’t know about you, but writing quality aside (the entire story could use a serious edit) that’s somewhat impressive. That’s 5 tropes if you’re counting, and I’m not entirely confident I didn’t miss any.
I’d like to share with you some of my favorite quotes!
“Chris was a bottom after all.”
Found By The Unicorn (Kindle Location 37). Kindle Edition.
I was snickering. Why of course he is. Why woudn’t he be a bottom. Do go on.
As the soft velvety muzzle caressed his cheek, Christopher felt his manhood begin to stir. Wait that wasn’t right! He thought as he tried to get his libido under control.
Found By The Unicorn (Kindle Locations 105-106). Kindle Edition.
Indeed, I’d be having concerns about myself if I were experiencing equine centric arousal.
You only live once, and you never ever turndown an invitation to fuck a unicorn.
Found By The Unicorn (Kindle Locations 125-126). Kindle Edition.
I can’t say I agree. But go on…(To be clear, the unicorn is in his human shape when the sex first starts.)
His testes felt heavy and full with each denied orgasm he felt them fill up further. It almost felt as if he had a ponderous grapefruit between his legs.
Found By The Unicorn (Kindle Location 173). Kindle Edition.
I’m pretty sure this is the single most extraordinary thing I’ve ever read about balls.
So, to wrap it up, if you like shifters and are in desperate need for some levity (and want to read some smut), check out this short story.